Every year, I offer a ceremony swim for pregnancy and infant loss to support my community with grief rituals. Larissa shares her experience after this year’s ceremonial swim in the sea.
This year, I partnered with Butterfly Run Vancouver and the Sea to Sky Pregnancy Loss group to curate a beautiful ceremony by the sea, complete with rituals to acknowledge what was, what is, and what will be.
One of our participants, Larissa Rossen of Be Counselling, shares her experience:
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Ceremony
Megan gathered us on the beach and we each lit a candle for our baby, sharing our names and the names of those we have lost.
We were then invited to find an object that might represent our grief, or ourselves at this present time. As I walked the beach scouring for an object, I knew it would be difficult to find an object that could capture the complexity of my grief right now.
Initially I wanted to find an ugly piece of seaweed, as I have recently felt very ugly in my grief (mainly related to the anger and bitterness that has overcome me recently).
A Ritual Talisman
I found a piece of (what I thought was) seaweed right as we were due back to the group, only to realize I had found this really unique piece of wood that was shaped in a u-shape. It had pieces of seaweed hanging off it.
We were told that these objects become talismen when we imbue our emotions into them, holding them tight.
When I returned to the group, I set up the piece of wood by digging it into the sand so that it was like a tunnel shape. It was so captivating! It was surprising to me that I had set out to find an ugly object, only to find that the object was actually exquisite!
I resolved that this might be indicative of how we view ourselves in grief – we may focus on the ugly bits, but forget to acknowledge how grief transforms our pain into beauty.
The most impactful moment was when we were invited to enter into the water together as a bereaved community. Megan invited us to use our voice if this felt good and helpful.
A Ritual Scream
As Megan entered the water she let out a howl, which immediately gave permission for me to shriek and scream. It was the most incredible release of all my unexpressed grief that was harboured in my body.
As I screamed, I forgot how cold the water was as I was engulfed in the sheer joy of howling together with this beautiful community.
This experience taught me how important it is to make time and space for ritual and ceremony. I knew this theoretically, but attending the ceremony really reminded me how important it is to carve out regular time to attend to my own grief.
I came away from the ceremony feeling light and joyful, a feeling I have not felt so deeply in a long time. Thank you Megan for facilitating this important day!
~
You can hire Megan to create a custom ceremony with you, or design your own ceremony with our app to acknowledge a pregnancy loss at any stage.
